So how does this all relate back to fingering yourself? Well, the same principles apply to fingering yourself as apply to partnered penetration. The nice thing about self-penetration is that you have total control over every aspect of the situation! If the hymen goes a long time without being penetrated, it will usually return to its non-stretched state, and need to be stretched out again.
You can gradually work up to two fingers and then perhaps a dildo over time. The key to the most comfortable hymen stretching experience possible is lots of lubrication store-bought lube will definitely come in handy here , being really relaxed, and introducing deeper and thicker penetration very slowly and gradually. A couple of things could be happening here. Try to orgasm first from external penetration or at least put some lube on your finger before attempting penetration.
You could also start with a smaller finger like your pinky and work up to a larger digit. You might also be pushing in at the wrong angle, which can cause discomfort. The vagina is angled towards your back. Try changing the angle slightly and trying again. You should also check your nails—if you have any sharp edges, they can catch on the tender insides of the vaginal walls and cause pain.
This is a condition where a woman feels pain with all penetration. If you are concerned about this, go to the doctor—it is treatable. Yes, you can. This may feel less awkward than using your finger or allow you new sensations and positions. However, here are three essential guidelines to follow to safely penetrate yourself with objects:. Anything you might use on your genitals again should be stored in a clean, dry place. Some people use vibrating toothbrushes as genital vibrators. The anus is extremely sensitive and full of nerve endings, so stimulating it can feel pleasurable.
Men also have the prostate, which can be stimulated digitally through the anus. Many common fingering questions center on misconceptions about the hymen, the membrane that partially covers the vaginal opening. Also, a feeling of stretching, fullness, or a slight tight discomfort with initial penetration are all totally common phenomena; while stabbing pain is generally an indication that your body is not quite ready yet—try more external stimulation and some lube.
The bottom line is that getting to know your body should be enjoyable, and fingering can be a great self-exploration tool in your arsenal! Skip to content. Fingering yourself: not depicted in this picture. Why Do People Finger Themselves? Pleasure A big reason why someone might finger themselves is for pleasure! Self-Exploration Another main reason why people might want to try fingering themselves is to get to know their bodies better.
Instead, enjoy the feeling and notice the tension and desire slowly building up in your body. This tension and build-up are exactly what's going to make your orgasm much more enjoyable for you. Now that you are sufficiently aroused, it's time to actually learn how to finger yourself. Start by lowering your hand downwards. You're not going to enter yourself just yet. Instead, you'll be very gently massaging your clitoris with your fingers.
Circular motion: Some find that they enjoy a gentle circular motion over their clitoris the most, while others enjoy brushing all their fingers over and back on it. The key is doing a little experimentation to discover what you enjoy the most and focus on that. In other words, zone in on what feels most pleasurable.
On the side: Gently running your fingers up and down the sides of your vagina, over the inner and outer labia, is also incredibly pleasurable, especially if you are using some lube. For some women, they can orgasm from this alone, but not everyone can. Time to enter: The next technique to use when learning how to finger yourself is entering your vagina with your finger.
Before you do this, make sure your finger is sufficiently lubricated otherwise you risk hurting yourself. Do a little experimentation by pressing and massaging the sides of your vagina as well as bringing your finger in and out of your vagina. As you use each of the techniques I have described to finger yourself, you will start to notice that the pleasure builds and builds.
Skip navigation! Story from Sex Tips. The ability to masturbate is a divine blessing. But as with all things sexual, technique can make all the difference. For those of you with vaginas, I'm going to share a tip that will improve your masturbation game; it's one that lesbian and queer women like myself have known for a long time: Cut your damn finger nails. Yes, that's it. It sounds obvious, but it's easy to get caught up in the latest nail art trends — stiletto nails complete with piercings look fab AF on the runway.
However, jamming adorned, pointy nails up a vagina can feel like masturbating with a cactus. In fact, many people consider it good queer girl etiquette to keep your nails short so that you don't hurt your partner's vagina during sex.
Though this nail etiquette should definitely apply to straight and queer guys, too. And yes, I'm aware that, for clitoral stimulation meaning: when you're not penetrating yourself with your finger , you can angle your finger so that your nail won't hurt you. All of these factors are valid, but perhaps it's something much simpler. Reeves suggests that I just might not be turned on enough for self-penetration.
Are folks like me doomed with a life-long aversion to self-fingering and -penetration? Fortunately, there are various ways to mentally, emotionally, and physically work through the apprehension of fingering yourself. Try somatic awareness: Reeves recommends using somatic awareness aka working with sensation tools for folks who have experienced trauma or undigested emotional experiences.
To avoid shutting down when exploring self-penetration, she says it can be useful to focus on your breath and keep your attention on what's happening in your body instead of feeling taken over by those emotions. She encourages you to ask yourself questions such as, "is my stomach clenched?
Self-pleasure without penetration. Self-pleasure is another great way to overcome penetration-related fear, guilt, or trauma, and ease yourself into healing, take back control, and feel safe in your body, says McGrath. Although self-pleasure obviously encompasses fingering yourself for some folks, try to focus only on external stimulation until you feel ready to progress toward self-penetration. Sex toys can also help bridge the gap between your fingers and your body.
Focus on self-reflection. To do away with shame, McLaughlin suggests self-analysis through journaling you can even start a sex journal or talking things out with a trusted loved one.
She says it's absolutely possible to enjoy sexual pleasure after traumatic events. If penetration feels like too much, look to other activities, such as external stimulation, or experiment with touching other erogenous zones on your body for pleasure. Can't get rid of the guilt or shame about fingering yourself that pops up?
Don't worry.
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